Wintertime Defiance. Also I May Never Go to the Bathroom Undisturbed Again.

 

Ladies. The minute I lock my bathroom door, for any reason, it sends some sort of cosmic-call through the ether to my daughter, who proceeds to charge up the stairs and rattle the door-handle violently. There is no good response.

“MOM, what are you doing?”

If I am silent, she gives it approximately 2.5 seconds before deciding that I might be dead in there.

If I am vague and say something like “I’m just getting ready” she responds with “For what? Can I go? When are we leaving? Can we go to Target?”

If I say “I’m taking a bath” she plops herself down outside the door and proceeds to chat with me. The conversation usually veers toward lofty topics, like whether one might need a magnifying glass to see an ant’s poop.

If I say “I’m going to the bathroom” she erupts into laughter and starts howling “ARE YOU POOPING?” And after she calms down we end up having the same bath-time-through-the-door convos.

I thought that by the age of seven she might grant me undisturbed bathroom time. Time to reorganize my bath salts. To stare into the mirror. To sit on the floor and check Instagram. To take a shower without someone beating on the door to make sure I’m still alive and kicking. But no. It was not meant to be. I know one day I will cherish these moments, and miss her presence… but gosh golly ya’ll right now I’d just like five silent minutes to Clorox the shower door.

In other news, it’s wintertime. IT. IS. STILL. WINTER. I’m feeling defiant. I’m planting all the indoor plants. I’m wearing flip flops (inside only, of course, I don’t fancy black toes). And my sister gifted me with the loveliest new artwork for my Etsy Shop. She knows me. She really knows me. When we were exploring themes and inspiration she was like, “How about a witchy kitchen theme with herbs hanging and greens and lavenders.” UM OKAY. My own kitchen is decidedly not witchy-magical. It smells like old banana peels and there is currently a huge pile of Etsy shop stock that I need to sort and put away.

But Rachel’s vision was so much better. It usually is. I want to live in my Etsy banner. Just like Mary Poppins, jumping right in.

After a mid-winter break, my shop is back up and running. I’ve added a few new things, marked down a bunch of prices, and changed all items to free shipping (b/c shipping calculations are the pits for buyers and sellers). It’s all here and ready to go. 

In the meantime I’ll be defying winter by watering my plants, taking out banana peel trash, and dreaming of an undisturbed restroom experience.

 

Practical Magic: Thrift Store Edition

 

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Listen. I get that not everyone feels the same way I do about Halloween. Case in point: Winston the skull-snowglobe. I purchased him last year for Halloween and instead of packing him away in November, he became a year-round member of my office support staff. My other main office support member is this shelf. Her name is Rhonda. You can read about her makeover on my instagram. 

With all that said, I am a Halloween nut. There is no such thing as too much or too tacky and just yesterday Jane picked up a fake skeleton hand in Target and yelled, “I’m coming for your soul.” Apparently my genes are strong.

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But some people are classier and don’t necessarily want to cover their homes in fake cobwebs and plastic coffins that yell “enter if you dare” every time a person or squirrel motion-activates it. And retail stores shouldn’t dominate our seasonal decor anymore than they should dominate our home decorating. Case in point, this spider plate.

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This is the Miss Muffet plate. She was a steal at Goodwill. She’s hand painted and I have zero ideas about where she came from or how old she is (I figured it wasn’t polite to ask). I’m thinking she belongs in a place of honor, like a shadow box.

Vintage plates might be the best way to decorate for October and November. They look great on the wall, or better yet, collect some mismatched plates for a tablescape. Pine cones and wheat are great dinner party decor (like this wheat-harvest themed vintage platter on my etsy page).

Yes. That was a shameless plug for my etsy shop. There may be more.

Who are we kidding. There will be more.

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Art is another great way to incorporate some vintage fall and Halloween decor into your house. Case in point: I found this beauty at Goodwill. It’s called “Autumn Grasses” and was originally a famous Japanese folding screen from the 1800’s by artist Shibata Zeshin.

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You guys. It has a giant moon, bugs, and the colors are spot on for some subtle Halloween decor. Given my affinity for Winston the skull-snow-globe, this piece of art will be year round in my house. BUT, at these costs you could definitely afford to collect some fall-seasonal specific art and store it in your attic when Christmas rolls around.

I don’t have any fall specific art in my shop at the moment (I’m so not parting with that giant-moon-bug print), but I do have a vintage black and white print of the Archbishop of Canterbury who was assassinated way back in 1170. And that’s basically a kissing-cousin story to all those witch-trial tales. A stretch? Maybe. But I just think the print is SO cool and wanted to share it.

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Planters and ceramics are another great option for some changeable fall decor when the air gets cooler and evening walks require sweaters. This ebony planter with ruffled edging is begging to display some tiny pumpkins. And this Heager bowl and matching candlesticks looks like the fall decor that might have perched atop Grandma’s solid wood record console during happy hour circa 1960.

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Of course, when all else fails, you can keep your fingers crossed that a real-life mama spider takes up residence on your porch, and your neighbor’s fireplace fills the air with wood smoke, and the evening sky turns that perfect shade of deep purple.

When it comes to real life practical magic, this combo wins every time.

 

10 Things a Woman Over 30 Must Own. JUST KIDDING I HATE THOSE POSTS. I Have an Etsy Shop.

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Ya’ll. Summer happened. 90% good, 10% chaos. There was traveling, swimming, article writing, house-painting. AND after spending a bulk of the summer in thrift stores and antique malls, I finally opened an Etsy shop. 

In my dream world I have a little antique store filled with funky old paintings, quilts, pottery, furniture that belongs on the set of Harry Potter, a candle burning on the front counter, and a black shop cat named Persis. Also, said imaginary store has exact purple doors like the ones in this photo.

BUT. Ya’ll. Retail rent is not for the faint of heart. A virtual brick and mortar store will do just fine. I dubbed it “The House of Mabel” as a little way to honor an old and loved chapter in my life.

I have more stock and will be adding soon. Please visit!

And also, happy fall. I painted my fireplace. I bought some wallpaper. I’ll be back.