Lately I’ve been cross pollinating between my Instagram photos and blog photos. I read recently that that wasn’t “allowed” in good social media management, that all photos on your blog and Instagram account and Facebook should be separate and unique. But then I pulled up my sweat pants and remembered that I should probably put on deodorant while reading an article about fashion do’s and don’ts. There’s a theme of not doing stuff in my life. And also laziness.
She’s here. The very best month of the year. The heat starts to break, the leaves start to fall, and I get to drag all my Halloween decorations out of the box. I used to make a day of it. I used to bake and leisurely decide where to place all the things, but now there’s a new element in that equation. The element’s name is Jane. And she does not give one hoot about my day of baking and organized decorating.
In my life I’ve spent a good deal of time feeling unclear about a lot of things. People, decisions, relationships, work. I’ve also felt unclear and murky about who I am. I’ve felt insecure. I’ve felt that others feelings were somehow more valid than my own. I’ve felt that if others were unhappy, or mad, or disapproving, then my emotional state had to reflect that. I’ve felt confused and depressed, but lately I’m coming out of a fog I wasn’t even aware was there until recently.