Yesterday I had an appointment in the Upper West Side.
I haven’t spent much time there, so afterwards I walked around next to Central Park. I was crossing a street and saw steam coming out of it. That’s not an uncommon occurrence in this city, where steam tumbles out of subway grates and manholes when it’s cold outside, great plumes rising into the air.
But this tiny little stream of white air, funneling and spinning straight out of the ground, was different. As I got closer, I saw that it was coming out of this minuscule hole, right in the pavement. It looked like the steam had just forced its way out, like a pinhole. I crossed the street, sat on a park bench, gleefully discovered some of Jane’s fruit snacks in my purse, and ate them. I ate and watched that sprite-like steam whip and twist and climb into the sky.
I imagined a small world down there. I imagined all the possibilities of how that hole came to be. Perhaps trolls live down there. Trolls carrying tridents, and one of them accidentally poked a hole in the ceiling on his way to work. Maybe he was late, and yelling at his kids “don’t keep making my ties into art projects” and then he flailed his little trident and down came part of the ceiling in a crumbled mess on the kitchen floor. And his wife stood there with her arms on her ample lady-troll hips, looked up at the peep of sunlight, and said, “Well, I hope you’re happy with yourself, Walter.”
People walked right past this little plume of steam and never noticed. But then a tiny old woman wearing a purple beret, walking a French bulldog, stopped and gazed at it for a few seconds. She looked over at me, I smiled, she did not smile back because hello… New York peeps don’t smile… but all the same. Someone besides me noticed.
That’s the thing about this city. There are strange, abnormal, interesting things happening here all the time. And I think the reason I love things like this so much is because (and not to get all Scully and Mulder on you), I want to believe.
I want to believe that there’s more than meets the eye to this city. To this world. To this life.
OF COURSE I know there aren’t families of trolls living under the streets of New York. But I feel that there are signs, encounters, messages all around us. It’s just sometimes we forget to look. Sometimes we don’t want to look. Sometimes we become so disheartened and beat down that we stop believing. And at that point a puff of steam just becomes a puff of steam.
I enjoyed sitting on that bench, wondering what was below that street.
They’ve always been there, those signs, those plumes of steam. Signs that I’m not alone. Signs that no matter what happens, I am blessed and loved and looked over by a God I will perhaps never fully understand. And that’s okay, because he’s there. And he loves me. And that is enough.
The signs are there for you as well. In the carpool lane. In the grocery store. In bed at night when things seem their darkest. In the light of day when you have the luxury of sitting on a bench in New York and making up troll stories in your head.
God is with us.
Just look for the smoke signals…
elizabeth-harrell.com 
Oh I fully believe there are trolls underground in NY. Here’s to little puffs of steam that keep you going.
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Love this! And, also love your succulents…
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Hello Liz, infrequent commenter here. This is one of your loveliest posts. I have been following your blog for a long time and this is one of the reasons why. This was one of the posts that said to me, “there’s a kindred spirit”. I would have noticed that sprite of steam also.
But beyond that, and in light of your reason break from blogging and reasons for it, I believe you should keep at it for your own sake. You are a writer and you CAN write, which is a real talent. Maybe – hopefully – you are working on another book, but I think the discipline of regular blog posts (with or without photos) keeps you observing and thinking as a writer. Writers should have readers. So, despite the evil-meanies leaving dark comments, I hope we’ll continue to hear from you.
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I enjoyed your troll story. You are so creative. I pictured everything you wrote in my mind, even the dear old lady and her French bull dog. Thank you for giving me something fun to think about this morning. Enjoy your day. Kathi
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If this got double posted – I fixed a major typo here)
Hello Liz, infrequent commenter here. This is one of your loveliest posts. I have been following your blog for a long time and this is one of the reasons why. This was one of the posts that said to me, “there’s a kindred spirit”. I would have noticed that sprite of steam also.
But beyond that, and in light of your recent break from blogging and reasons for it, I believe you should keep at it for your own sake. You are a writer and you CAN write, which is a real talent. Maybe – hopefully – you are working on another book, but I think the discipline of regular blog posts (with or without photos) keeps you observing and thinking as a writer. Writers should have readers. So, despite the evil-meanies leaving dark comments, I hope we’ll continue to hear from you.
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I just love this post and the reminder to dream. Even if it is about smoke signals and Trolls named Walter. I positively adore the little details.
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I kind of want to meet Walter and his family of trolls. You should write a childrens’ book about him.
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I really think you’ve hit on something with Walter and his family/neighborhood of trolls. Frankly, I’m not sure they *don’t* exist below the streets of the Upper West Side. 😉
xox
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Love it! There is a bigger story there…..and wouldn’t it be cool if it was real and not just fiction? I love my active imagination for the same reason….what if and why not? Just because someone “in charge” has no imagination says it isn’t real? Piffle….there just might be a family of tiny happy trolls living under the streets of NY.
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This one made me all teary-eyed! 🙂 Thank you for sharing. It’s so easy to get bogged down b/c of stupidity. And, that’s where I’ve been today. Bogged down by stupid. Thanks for this reminding that God is bigger and there is more to life. Glad you’re loving New York! 🙂
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Lovely post, Liz.
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I am so glad you are back! Share what you want to share and don’t worry about the rest. Take it easy, enjoy the little moments (I love that you are already doing that, a family of trolls…:D), we support you!
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Every sunrise, every sunset… every snowflake, every smile…God is in it all, always.
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Thank you! Meaningful words and thoughts I needed to hear. Thank you!
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Really really glad you are back.
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I think you have a book of short stories brewing about your New York experiences!
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In all my years of reading blogs, i have NEVER left a comment. But i just had to say– so happy you are back, and as a NYC mom, just know that this city will one day feel like your forever home, and you won’t even realize that it happened. Keep your chin up!!!
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Oh how I needed this today. On a day when I’ve forgotten the smoke signals in my own life. Thanks for coming back, Liz.
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