The Break. And Why.

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So.

It’s been a while.

Why the break?

It’s complicated.

I can sum it up with a couple of reasons.

  1. When there’s ill will out there, coming at you, lurking around, it just sucks the life out of blogging. When you know there are people snooping and talking about you and your loved ones it kills the joy of recording parts of your life publicly. It’s hard to know how to move forward from that.
  2. Jane is getting older. Suddenly I thought to myself, “I don’t want tons of pictures of her out there in the world.” I know plenty of bloggers do it and it’s fine and it bothers no one. But, Jane isn’t a blogger. I am. And so, I feel that even though she’s almost five, she should still have some element of privacy. Same goes for Fayez. Same goes for me, at times.

So how in the world does one continue blogging, ignore ill will (and the occasional insano-commenter), and still maintain some privacy for kids and husband and life?

I have no idea.

But what I do know is I really missed being here. And I also know that the days of dozens of pictures and transparency and public “diary keeping” are coming to a close.

 

And what’s been up lately? So much. Holidays. Las Vegas. Blizzards. Pizza making. Birthday celebrating. And truthfully, there is a lot of joy in throwing a dinner party and not feeling the need to photograph it. There’s a lot of joy in not posting pictures of house projects, and instead just doing them for personal enjoyment (again, no documenting). There’s a lot of joy in knowing that not everyone out there knows your business on a weekly basis. Privacy. I forgot how much I enjoyed it.

So where does that leave me?

I guess I’ll figure it out along the way. But there’s an undeniable part of me that needs to write and document sections of my life. So forward. Onward. Whatever that will look like…

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29 Comments

  1. asdowell says:

    As a mom of an older child, I understand about slowing down on sharing. I can’t imagine people driving ill will your way. Until the end comes my little family will be sending joy waves y’alls way.

    Like

  2. **Dawn** says:

    I think blogging, like any other part if life, changes and evolves and takes on new faces. That’s life, though, isn’t it? Time passes and we change. Here’s to finding what your next blogging “face” looks like. =)

    Like

  3. sarah says:

    Glad you are back. I feel like I”ve been a fly on the wall thru your journey. It’s odd to feel like I know you…that I miss hearing whats up with you. The internet is weird. But I think you’ve done a great job and enjoy hearing your thoughts on the things that happen in life.
    There is a small chance we may be moving from LA to NY…..if that happens I’ll need lots of tips. we’ve lived in CA our whole lives and i will be bringing three kids-ACK.
    Welcome back!

    Like

  4. Kerry says:

    Hi Liz,
    I’ve been a lurker for years. I’ve always enjoyed your writing but very rarely commented. Despite how much I love your blog, I’ve always thought it was a bit creepy (on my part) that I, a total stranger to you, knew so much about your personal life. I’m so grateful for the hours of entertainment your writing has given me but I completely understand and respect that you want more privacy.

    Your comment about Jane is fantastic! I’m always so sad for the poor little souls I see constantly pouring into my Facebook newsfeed thanks to eager parents desperate to show off their children. They have no say over what their parents post about them and, when they are adults in 20 years time, those photos of them in the bath or breastfeeding from their mother (a beautiful, intimate act that can be used for perverse purposes by people who find these images) or comments about them having “a sore penis” (yes, I know someone who broadcasted this about her four year old son!) will be out there in cyberspace for anyone and everyone to stumble across. I think you are making a very good decision on your daughter’s behalf and it shows that you respect her as an individual, not as an accessory to display to the world as is sadly the way with some.

    I’ll continue to stalk your blog in search of your funny, clever, down-to-earth writing and hopefully you will find a way to write that also allows you the privacy you and your family deserve.

    Like

  5. deb says:

    Yep, privacy is a good thing. I appreciate your decision(s) and know you’ll figure out what YOU want to do, even if that means not blogging at all anymore. Take care of yourself and yours…

    Like

  6. Erin Bartels says:

    It’s funny. There are only four blogs I continue to want to check in on from the past 5-8 years. Yours is one. The other are the Sweet Nest, Wanting What I Have, and Pleasant View Schoolhouse. PVS took a couple year hiatus and then came back when life changed a bit and got more conducive to blogging again. WWIH? She might update it once or twice a year, but with a massively long post. SN has been silent since November. I’ve exchanged personal emails with all of you, and perhaps that’s why I keep checking in–like checking in on a friend you haven’t talked to in a long time. I care that your families are happy and fulfilled. I care about your struggles. The years of regular blogging have formed friendships, even, I suspect, among people who don’t comment. And when a good blogger stops posting, we miss them. So know that you are missed, but that, since we’re your friends, we understand.

    Like

  7. Holly says:

    Oh yes, I’ve missed you too, and have read for a long, long time. Glad to hear you’re well and understand your desire to protect Miss Jane.

    Like

  8. feathering6innest says:

    Agreed! Maybe I should consider being more private in regard to my children. I enjoy your cute and funny sense of humor and your interesting way with words. I do miss Mable too. I especially like the way you used photography; never too much, and always causing the reader to want more. I learned some things from you about what the reader can or can’t see in a photo. I am grateful for you. Thanks, Liz. Kathi

    Like

  9. Girl, this is as authentic as it gets, and authenticity is the reason I keep coming back to the blogs I love. You do whatever you need to do in your personal life, I just hope that occasionally you’ll share a tidbit with us (like this, this is perfect).

    Wishing you and your family all the very best,
    xox

    Like

  10. You know I am with you 100% no matter what choices you make in blogging. And I hope you also remember, if you ever want to anonymously blog on my site, you are MORE than welcome to do it. I would relish another voice and another contributor. But also, if you never blogged again another day in your life: I’d love you just as much that way too. Let’s lunch date again soon. Or better yet, let’s go antiquing soon. I discovered some new stores in Brooklyn we could check out ❤

    Like

  11. Amy says:

    So glad to see you are back, and that all is well. I have missed your writing, photos, and little updates, but I completely understand your need for privacy. Take care!

    Like

  12. So happy to see you around! Of course, I’m like that. Since I don’t know you any other way than your blog and your book, I miss you when you’re not around. And you are totally within your rights to create boundaries and such. *sigh*

    Like

  13. Bridget says:

    The biggest reason I read your blog is because it gives me a sense that I am not the only one who has a mind and opinions and isn’t afraid to share them. Even if it feels like you are not totally in sync with the rest of the world. Nasties don’t only exist in your world, trust me on that one. My girls just turned 5 and it is amazing how much they have changed in one year. they are going to “real” school in the fall. Then I wonder about Jane and school in the fall and if schools in NY are remotely like schools elsewhere and if they would all be good friends if they went to the same school which can’t happen be cause I live in the hinterlands. But I think it would be great to know there is one other parent at the school who has a little creativity and no boxes in sight to think about. Whatever you do, you only have this one life to do it in. Do what you think is best. ( I don’t blog because I am living an unexamined life 🙂 and can’t take a picture on a bet…) As my mom says: You never regret doing the right thing.

    Like

  14. Suzan Dahlenburg says:

    Hi Liz, Thank you for checking in. I have missed you so much! I understand the break and giving miss Jane and your new husband privicy. I never felt that you were over sharing at all. I just followed you because you are quirky,funny and had a dog. I worried about you during the time that you were ill and laughed when you wrote about looking at the wall where your sister wiped her boogers. It seemed you found humor in a horrible situation. When you told us about the divorce I cried because I knew how devastated you were. I still hurt for your losing Mable. I am so sorry that the trolls have been biting. I do not understand why people need to feel the need to be mean. Pleas know that what ever you choose to share I will be reading and loving it. Also another book would be great. I truly enjoyed the first one and I believe I will love your next one. I hope you are enjoying your new home, and that you and Miss Jane are happy beyond belief. Suzan

    On Monday, February 1, 2016, Cant Never Could… wrote:

    > lizharrell3 posted: ” So. It’s been a while. Why the break? It’s > complicated. I can sum it up with a couple of reasons. When there’s ill > will out there, coming at you, lurking around, it just sucks the life out > of blogging. When you know there are people sn” >

    Like

  15. Josette says:

    I came late to reading your blog and back tracked a bit vial older posts to get context… Then that history was gone and you explained why. I surprise myself in being interested in your stories, when life is full and such reading is an escape…. Compelled I continue to be because you have interesting things to say and I like to read them. This latest hiatus and your comments now make me reflect on why your readers generally understand your dilemma and accept the constraints you outline. Bottom line, it’s totally your call. You write and we read. It’s a symbiotic relationship..This real life view with real life fotos via a blog is just a modern twist on that old tradition of letter writing; now a foreign concept.. Letters were such a special way for one to convey thoughts, sentiments and the fleeting image. And the reader to appreciate them feeling a type of intimate bond. I think this is what your readers crave – that sense of being the recipient of a letter from a dear friend. With any lasting friendship though, comes the understanding that participation has to be free and unencumbered by expectations…you are a reader too, so you know this.

    Do what you will… Your talent has captured a readership and thatt’s a good thing.

    Like

  16. Leah says:

    The need for privacy is very understandable and I can relate completely! I used to have a well visited blog & after years of documenting way too many home projects and my life in general, I one day realized how ‘exposed’ I felt and put an end to it. The freedom of ‘living’ without feeling like I have to take notes and edit photos and follow a schedule is great.

    I do feel the need to have a space with an online presence to organize and share some aspects of my life, however. So,I started a new blog. I am not sure why it pulls me, but it does.

    Like

  17. Molly says:

    I am so happy to see you back! I love your writing. Please don’t stop! We’re happy to see New York though your eyes. Take us along for the ride!

    Like

  18. Chtis Henry says:

    Loved watching Jane grow up but privacy is important . Would so love if you write us a great little story once in awhile they are always a treat. Missed you’

    Like

  19. Heidi says:

    I’ve missed your updates terribly – you have a beautiful, quirky life outlook and I love your writing. I have been a long time fan, I cried when you were hurting and was overjoyed to see you and Jane so happy, but I so understand the need for balance and privacy and starving the ugly trolls out there as you create your new life.I selfishly hope there is a little peek left for those of us cheering you on from the sidelines, with the right comfy boundaries of course. Your loves come first. When you encounter the ugly side of people, living a good life is the best response to the negativity and that has to be irritating to those that hoped you would fall apart instead of finding yourself and your own happiness and thriving as you have. You have a whole lot of fans that want only happy things for you, whether you share it with us or not. Hugs.

    Like

  20. Kim says:

    I too have been a LURKER for quite awhile and I love your blog. I am glad you are back, even if it will be different. You are a fantastic writer.

    Like

  21. Oh Liz, you have been such a bundle of joy in my life for years. I’m feeling just a bit blessed to have the privilege to have you here no matter what you have to say. I admire your strength and courage to do what is right for your family and your smile and humor that shines thru in your stories. You are a beautiful shimmering ray of light.

    Like

  22. shilocain says:

    It’s so nice to hear from you – even if the format changes, I love your perspective on life, Liz. So thank you for sharing that with us in whatever format you are comfortable with. I wish you and your family every happiness.

    Like

  23. Dawn W says:

    I’m glad you’re back – in whatever form, whatever frequency. I totally get the privacy thing – I stopped blogging when my kids were in high school. It suddenly occurred to me (despite already using an alias for each, and never revealing our city or their schools), that they were becoming young adults and their stories were their own to tell. Or not! I did friend a few long-time readers on my very locked down Facebook page. That worked for me. Bottom line, it’s your life and you get to decide. Selfishly, I hope you keep writing for us in some form – you have a gift of story telling that we enjoy!!

    Like

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