Intense flailing lady at the end of the subway car: Repent! Jesus is near! Jesus is LOVE! Stay away from the darkness. Jesus is coming soon!
Jane turns to inspect the situation from behind her pink and purple princess sunglasses.
Intense flailing lady throws her head back, rolls her eyes, and shouts garbled unable to be understood words, closely related to “I shot a pecan.”
Concerned citizen next to me: Oh my goodness, she’s having a seizure.
Me: No ma’am. She’s speaking in tongues.
Concerned citizen: How do you know?
Me: I’m from the south.
Concerned citizen nods, because “I’m from the south” seems to be a universal explanations for a lot of things in New York City and I now keep it on standby. I also continue to call people “ma’am” because it either makes them friendlier or throws them off, and I find both of those things equally beneficial.
Jane peers over the top of her sunglasses and addresses Concerned Citizen: She’s a pretty grumpy lady. Jesus does not like yelling.