Something Smells Like a Witch



Two weeks of no school, Santa Clause, grandparents, doting aunts and uncles, zero daily structure, cartoons on tap, and Fayez playing hide and seek to her heart’s content all combined in some sort of Chinese level toxic cloud over Jane’s head. She also told me, at one point, “My hiney smells like a witch.” I asked, “What does a witch smell like?” She looked at me like I was the dumbest dumb dumb on the face of the planet and said, “Like my hiney!” And since I’d bathed her every single day, I was fairly sure that the only witchy thing about my little sassy blonde was her attitude.

It was a dark and dismal Monday in our house, despite the sun outside. She begged to stay at home with me again, but when we got to school she hugged me, then shoved my face away WITH HER HAND, and ran to play with her friends.

Here’s hoping Tuesday has less tude. And Santa Clause doesn’t remember all this when Christmas rolls around next year.



  1. Kim says:

    I remember back in the day a period of unemployment for me that lasted almost a month. The first morning I went back to work my almost 3 year old took one look at me and told me she was so happy to be going to daycare instead of being home with me!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. betsy says:

    happy new year’s, liz. really could’ve done without that bit about your daughter smelling like a witch. one of the things I enjoy least about your blog, is that some, if not most, of your stories seem to appeal to a grade-schooler’s sense of humor/decorum. time to grow up a bit…


    • J says:

      Lighten up, lady. A mother sharing a story of her child’s innocent sense of humor doesn’t require your unpleasant input and if you don’t enjoy it, ask whoever is holding the gun on you to stop making you read this blog.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Betsy, what a tacky and petty thing to say to such a wonderful person. Did it make you feel like a better person to spew your misery on her blog? I’m always confused when people leave hurtful comments like this…when all you have to do….. is simply don’t read her blog. Great post, Liz. Have a good week!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Betsy-

    I thought I’d respond to your comment. On virtually every web browser there’s an X button in the top right corner that allows you to close out a website that you don’t care for.

    In addition, that’s my full name up there. You’re welcome to ask Liz for my email address as well if you’d like to respond.

    Further, if you’ll read carefully, Liz noted that her daughter’s attitude, not her actual person, smelled like a witch. Sometimes we all smell a little witchy. I’m sure you think I do right now. However, given the deplorable grammar in your comment, my suspicion is that you don’t always read everything all that clearly.


    Kristi Greene

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Rebecca says:

    Uh oh, Liz…looks like you have an unhappy person who is not forced to read your blog but keeps on doing so. I bet Betsy is just SUPER fun to be around. I wonder what kind of witch she smells like…

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Deletta Browning says:


    I enjoyed this post immensely. Jane is such a bright, articulate, joyful child. It’s a pity that as we grow older, some adults loose that child-like sense of wonder and imagination. The comment from Betsy reminds me of the classic film, The Wizard of Oz. Rather than do her own dirty work, the Wicked Witch of the West employed her army of flying monkeys to harass poor Dorothy. My conjecture is that instead of smelling witchy, Betsy exudes the malodorous aroma of primate.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. alicia says:

    I totally understand the whole child logic and reading about it makes me think back my own child at this age. Thank you for posting about real life and not some fluff version!! Witches and all.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Beth says:

    I enjoyed this post about Jane’s attitude and her vivid way of expressing it. One of the things I particularly appreciate about your blog is the combination of candor and humor you bring to stories of childrearing. Your ability to approach even your daughter’s post-holiday ‘tude with evident love and amusement illustrates for me the kind of parent I hope to be (very soon now!).

    Liked by 2 people

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