The Great Social Media Cut

So lately, you guys, lately it’s been a bit crazy. I’ve been amazed at how deep the post-divorce scrutiny has been. I mean, I like to think I’m interesting and all… but not this interesting. The gossip. The texts to my close friends asking questions about me (not directly to me, never directly), has been ridiculous. The online stalking. I mean, COME ON.

I keep hearing my late Uncle Trent’s words in my head.

“Some people don’t have anything better to do than sit around and pick lint out of their belly buttons.”

And it makes me cranky. Because I love blogging. And I love being a writer. I love my Facebook account, and Instagram is fun. But I do not like feeling like I’m a side show. I don’t like feeling like my real life, in all it’s painful glory lately, is some sort of reality sitcom to be watched and critiqued.
It’s hurtful.

I understand that a lot of the ugliness and rumors and conjecture stems from the fact that I have been close mouthed as to the reasons I chose to leave my marriage. I don’t regret that. I love my daughter with all my heart, and I never want her to read bitter diatribes online, or hear hurtful things around this small (and getting smaller by the day) town that can be linked back to me.

I wish I could say she’ll never have to encounter that, but sadly, there has been plenty said about her mother.And to all of you who have said it, or perpetuated it? Shame on you. My sweet Jane deserves better than to grow up in a place where her elementary school class mates may tease or taunt her with false things they’ve heard about her mother. So again. Shame on you.

However, I will say, when a woman takes her child, leaves her house, her church, and her dog after 13 years… she has darn good reasons. My family, all devout members of the Church of Christ, know all my reasons and support me completely. But it’s this lack of information that has somehow allowed rumors and ugliness to run amock.

So I made a decision. I cut way, way back on my followers on Instagram and Facebook. I’ve limited it to people I know well, have known a long time, and those that are intimately involved in my day to day life and have Jane and my best interests at heart. I realize this will cause a scuffle.
“What does she have to hide?”
Nothing, I just don’t know you who you are.
Nothing, I do know you, but not well enough to share everything with you on demand.
Nothing, I do know you, and we both know you don’t deserve ring side seats to my every day life because you’ve kind of been a stinky person.
Am I cranky pants much? Yep. But you know something? It’s been a long time coming. I get to stick up for myself. I get to set boundaries that make me comfortable. I get to be a cranky pants. I get to decide when and where people get access to my life. I think those of us who have been blogging a long time feel pressure and obligation where we shouldn’t.
Yes, we share.
But it should always, ALWAYS be on our own terms and in our own time.

 

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2 Comments

  1. hippychick2 says:

    I just want you to know that all of the sudden, I realized that you were absent from my Instagram feed. And I miss you. So I went looking for you on your blog and followed you here. I’m grateful that you are still blogging. I do love following you and Jane. I completely understand that you would scale way back. I won’t go looking for you on Instagram… well, maybe one day… but I respect your space and hope that you continue to walk out your healing.
    {hugs}
    hippychick

    Like

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