State of the Union

The Honorary TT (also known as Rachel)…

The best way I can describe this summer so far, is that it feels like a flashback to another time, a time when summers meant sunscreen and long days and good food.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had a summer like this. A very long time.

I’ve been experimenting in the kitchen and I’ve learned a few things. I’ve also learned that I’m not a bad cook! Am I great cook? No. Have I poisoned myself? No. So I say…. score.
But in all seriousness, I cooked for Rachel and she said it was delicious. And since Rachel makes the best fried chicken I’ve ever eaten, I take that compliment to heart.

Jane is having a good summer. I’ve learned that clip on earrings and crowns and reenactments of “It’s A Hard Knock Life” dance sequences trump laundry or bill paying any day of the week. 
She likes her new room, and is also verrrryyyy slowly acclimating to potty training. Sort of. On most days. Or some days. But whatever. This is the kid who waited until she was 18 months old to walk because it suited her. I’ve learned to accept her little time table.

I’ve been planting and re-potting some of my plants. There is super good light in our apartment, and they’re very appreciate of it. I realize how boring this sounds.
“Greeeaaat Liz. You’re having fun with your plants. So exciting.”
But hey. I actually have the time and mental energy to think about things like that. Things I used to really love and find a lot of joy in. And yes, they’re little. But it’s those little bitty things that come back to you. And you remember, “Hey, this is what it used to feel like when I was happy.” And then you walk around grinning like an idiot because your succulents are growing well.
Fine. I’ve painted myself into a corner with my own logic. I’m a huge dork. 

The pool, people. The pool.
I have to say, I love this apartment complex. I’ve made friends. The grounds are pretty. The pool is never crowded. I have zero maintenance. There is no yard. I am such a city girl. And on the plus side? I have a small tan for the first time in at least five years, and our apartment always smells like sunscreen. This pool makes me very, very happy.

But even more so, more than the pool, or my plants, there’s Rachel. I haven’t seen her since last Thanksgiving. We’ve been staying up late talking. And hanging out. And swimming. And eating.

I have a serious peace with my sisters that I don’t get anywhere else. These are my people. The women who know me better than anyone on the face of the planet. They’ve seen me at my best, they’ve seen me at my dirt floor worst. We can tell each other anything, and it’s safe. I love them with all the square footage in my heart.

I’ve found it very hard to pray lately. It seems like God hasn’t been listening to me for a long, long time. A very long time. I’ve been angry. I’ve wanted to repay his silence with a little silence of my own. Juvenile, yes. But it’s the truth.
But slowly, every slowly, I’ve dipped my toe back in the water. My prayers aren’t anything fancy. And they aren’t necessarily the most devout. But I’ve been able to say a few words here and there without wanting to put my foot through a wall. 
Between the small prayers, and TT, and the pool, and this apartment that’s turned into a tiny sanctuary from the world… my state of the union is a positive one. 
Happy summer ladies.
Advertisements

1 Comment

  1. Bethany Cook says:

    Oh, sister……your words about prayer….perfectly put. I’m grateful you have a way with words, bc I simply do NOT. I’ve tried to explain my dilemma to others, and they just look at me like I have two heads. I might memorize what you said and recite It. Don’t worry, I’ll give you credit…lol!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: